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Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the players Alliance
Not a gamer was playing, not even that terrible game Defiance
The steam wish lists were updated with games to spare
In hopes that st gaben would see it and share

Lotro Players News was all snug in their beds
Of course endless skirmishes ran through Pineleaf’s head
With Karv in his kerchief, and Drac all in black
All pcs sat idle awaiting a massive update pack

When out on mixlr there rose such a stream
All assumed it was DJ again drunk on Jim Beam
Away to their pcs they typed in mad dash
With an annoying page pop up “You must update your Flash”

The mixlr email notice arrived with promise of a show
But the title was blank so no one would know
When what to everyone’s ears could hear
But a terrible voice acting, that almost caused tear

Sort of like Bombadil, but with a hillbilly twang
Everyone realized it was just ol santDang
More rapid than Eagles listeners logged on
As he continued to act out terrible jokes and even a song

“Oh LPN, oh DDO News, and even XP Quest
How you have all made this channel an absolute best
To the top of iTunes and even YouTube
Our ratings keep climbing, all thanks to this group”

Then in a sudden stir on everyone pc they heard
An autologon, the lotro intro which sounded absurd
Their characters loaded and instant traveled to Bree
And the npcs all stood round a massive Dead white tree

On the steps of the pony sat santDang on a war hobbit mount
And Gms hovered nearby questioning and generally freaking out
“How has he cracked the game and gotten god like powers?”
Then SantDang turned the Bree stage into the dark lord’s tower!

Oh how Sauron’s eye burned with fire and wrath
“Filthy hobbits would die tonight in a horrible blood bath!”
He summoned the nine all mounted on drakes
And army’s of goblins riding on hobby horses in their wake

Theodin blew a horn from the boar fountain to call
“Ride now, ride to ruin and the death of them all!”
All players around took sword and bow and axe
And charged with the horse lord, buffing to the max

The dark lord leveled all with +9 dread
And even the travel mounts were nearly struck dead
Some where In an alley nearby a scream arose
The cat ladies cats all twitched in death throws

In the midst of battle a quest giver dawned
“Please take this letter straight to elrond”
Santdang blinked three times then willed his death
The dark lord obeyed and burned the quest giver with his breath

Aragorn appeared to rally the players
So many were summoned the town was in layers
“The courage of men will fail, but not today”
Legolas leaned and and said “your speech is quite gay”

Dismissing the elf he wield narsil high
To late he realized that santdang had switched it with a pie
Hungry hobbits like zombies circling near
His death was swift pie went everywhere with a cheer

The gms countered by spawning in some cake
And steps made of tables for players testing fate
The dark lord’s horde was sure to win this time
As santdang stood by attempting to ryme

“We shall rule middle earth and all of real life
All non 5 star reviewers will be given the knife
Come Sauron let’s end this and take over the zone”
Sauron agreed and unleashed a horrible moan

The gms freaked out and called the server admin
“Cut the power kill the switches to stop these mad men ”
Santdang and Sauron rose up and took flight
They’ll slaughter all who stand before them tonight

In came an army of Sara Oakhearts with pibgorns, wailing in the wind
All players cried out, “dear god this is how is all ends!”
The RNG mailed Drac of a red painted mount
Then server disconnect… and all suddenly timed out